1001 rules you might feel awkward about telling your unborn son.

“Don’t chat up the only girl at the comic convention.  It’s not happening.” sotrue

fatmanatee:

• Keep your body hair well-trimmed for the ladies… yes, THAT hair, Jimmy.  You’ll know soon enough.
• Good news: you won’t have to remember the name of the girl on the pole who you had the one night stand with.  Bad news: you might take away something else to remember her by.
• Delete your facebook “relationship status” entirely.  That way, you won’t have to worry about facebook breakups.  If the girl demands that you change, dump her.
• Remember, I will find the pron if you place it among the family vacation photos.  Keep it on DVDs and give it an unassuming title, like “Law and Order: SVU”.  Nobody will want to accidentally put that in the DVD player.
• Don’t chat up the only girl at the comic convention.  It’s not happening.
• Whatever she says, it’s not true: you can still get a girl pregnant when she’s breast feeding.
• Don’t make me have to break out the college “scrunchie” rule.  If the bedroom door is closed, I’m sexing your mother. 
• Don’t try to unhook a bra using one hand with a girl you’re sleeping with for the first time.  If you fail, it looks bad.